First Train Ride

       The chugging sound of the train and the smooth ride made Ian sleepy. It didn’t snow this year, but the weather was bleak and cold. The heating was on, the seat was comfortable and he felt cosy. 

       The winter holiday was over before Ian could fully enjoy it. It had been nice at home, waking up late, drinking coffee after ten o’clock and eating the delicious foods his mother prepared that year. Of course, every year was a feast. He could say that without sounding like bragging, his mother was a chef, if she couldn’t prepare the most delicious holiday meals, then who could? 

       His siblings had been at home too, except for his older brother, he spent this year’s Christmas with the in-laws. When him and his sweet wife married they decided to spend one year with his parents and the next with hers. A good compromise, but Ian missed his big brother over the holidays, although happy he got to spend some quality time with his younger sister and her twin brother. 

       Ian left home with heavy heart, it had been just too nice to be there, to feel like he was a kid again. Right now he was already nostalgic and he’s been away for only a few hours. 

       The train slowed down and came to a halt. Ian looked out the window to see where they were, but he couldn’t see any markings. It was some big city, that was certain. He sank back into his seat blinking lazily. He could sleep, but he was too nervous to take a nap, last time that happened he missed his stop and had to buy a ticked two stations back. He didn’t want to risk the inconvenience again. 

       The door opened and two red nosed men entered the carriage. They greeted Ian out of politeness and wasted no time to take off their jackets and make themselves comfortable. Ian looked at them curiously. They were both tall, taller than he was, one with long light brown hair, up to his shoulders, and striking green eyes, the other a darker shade of brown with black, intense gaze. 

       They sat next to each other, the green eyed one next to the window, right in front of Ian. He whispered something to his friend then looked at the view as the train left the station. 

       “My hands are frozen, warm me up” the green eyed one said to the other who looked briefly at Ian before taking his friend’s hands into his and rubbing them together.

       “They wouldn’t be if you wouldn’t have left your gloves fuck knows where.”

       “Will you stop scolding me and take care of me instead? If I get a cold you get a cold too” he said laughing.

       Ian smiled to himself, they were no doubt a couple. He had that feeling when they first entered, but he hadn’t been sure. That little exchange made him think his gaydar was not all that rusty after all. 

       He let his thoughts wander for a bit, how nice must it be to have someone warm you up on a cold winter day. Have someone to hold hands with, cuddle up next to each other, share the same blanket and watch movies while drinking hot cocoa. He let out a small sigh, how he wished he had someone like that. But there was no room for despair, he was still young, he had plenty of time to meet someone and spend winters and summers alike together. 

       About fifty minutes into the ride, Ian began talking to his new companions. While mindlessly playing with his phone, he dropped it and it went straight under Michael’s—the green eyed one—seat. He helped Ian retrieve it and then they started talking. That’s how Ian learned that Michael was also a student in the same city as he was, but at a different university, and his partner, Cole, was an Entry-Level Systems-Analyst. While Michael loved talking, Cole was more reserved. 

       The rest of the ride went by in a breeze as Michael told Ian all about his Christmas holiday with Cole. They’ve been dating for three years now, but this was the first Christmas they got to spend together. Ian didn’t ask why, it didn’t seem like a subject any of them would be comfortable discussing, so he just enjoyed the tales about skating and drunken mishaps, in return telling them about how nice it has been spending the holidays at home. 

       After Ian and Michael exchanged phone numbers, they went their separate ways. The meeting left Ian feeling happy, glad to connect with new people. Michael seemed a great guy, maybe they’ll keep in touch and become good friends, but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel a pang of resentfulness; if Michael wouldn’t already be dating someone, Ian might have just shot his shot. And he dates someone who acted so cold on top of it. Maybe it was his impression, but he could have sworn Cole almost rolled his eyes when Michael asked for his phone number. Jealous much?

       Back in the small apartment he was renting with one of his friends, Ian couldn’t wait to fall in bed and take a nap. The train ride left him drained, and as much as he enjoyed talking to Michael, it exhausted him. But first he had to unpack all the food his mother forced him to take—not that he complained—and then take a well deserved hot shower. 

       Hi! This is Michael, I was wondering if you want to grab a drink sometime. :)

       The text message came three weeks after classes started again. By now Ian forgot all about his potential new friend, the text took him by surprise. He replied almost immediately:

       Hi! Sure, I would like to. What about C? Do you know it?

       After a few texts back and forth they decided to meet at C cafe at around five-something in the afternoon. Ian didn’t have time to go home before meeting Michael, so he got something to eat on the way there. 

       He couldn’t help but wonder why Michael texted him then. He could have done it anytime during those three weeks, but he didn’t. And he immediately asked him out? Somewhere deep inside Ian hoped the reason was Michael breaking up with Cole and maybe being interested in him. With hopes set high, Ian spotted Michael as soon as he entered the cafe. 

       “You cut your hair!” Was the first thing Ian said. “I mean, hi, how are you?” he corrected himself as he sat down at the table Michael had already claimed. 

       “Hi you too. I’m good, I needed a change so I just, you know, chopped it off.” 

       As Michael laughed Ian felt his heart skip a beat. During the train ride Cole had been there, but now he wasn’t, he didn’t have to control himself, to hide the fact he liked Michael very much. 

       “I was surprised you texted me.”

       “Yes, sorry about that, I would have texted you sooner, but classes have been a nightmare already. But why didn’t you? You did have my number, right?”

       “Oh… Classes have been crazy here too.” 

       Two pints of beer each later, it was already dark and time to head home. They talked about everything: classes, colleagues, weird professors, high school, family and friends, and Michael didn’t mention Cole once. That alone made Ian feel more confident that he stood a chance, so when Michael said he should leave, Ian offered to walk him home. Or at least part of the way. He knew vaguely where Michael lived, it wasn’t too far away from his place, but that would mean there was a possibility for him to get home after midnight. 

       The weather was even colder now, but both Ian and Michael were too caught up in their conversation to notice.

       “Do you want to go through the park?”

       Ian looked to their right. The park was more like a green space in between tall apartment buildings, no doubt roaming with teens during summers, but now empty. It barely qualified as a detour, but once entering the green space, Michael slowed down. 

       “It’s really cold, isn’t it? And I don’t have my gloves…” he commented rubbing his hands together. Hesitating, Ian took a few steps closer to Michael and took his hands into his own. He rubbed up and down then pulled Michael’s hands closer to his mouth and blew warm air over them. A risky move, but Michael smiled, he didn’t reject him, he actually closed the distance between them, Ian being able to feel his hot breath on his lips. With just a tip of the head, their lips joined into a gentle, almost shy kiss. Ian’s hands slipped over Michael’s back, and he deepened the kiss, parting his lips ever so slightly. 

       It felt like all his wishes becoming true all at once. Michael’s lips were soft, his mouth warm and inviting. They kissed for a while before Michael took Ian’s hand and led him to a bench. They sat down and resumed kissing. No one could see them in the dark, but even so, Ian looked around, scanning the surroundings when Michael pulled down his jeans’ zipper. 

       Surprisingly the cold didn’t make him shrink back, not completely at least. Being out in the open made Ian’s heart beat faster; he felt afraid and aroused at the same time. 

       Michael crouched down on his knees and took Ian into his mouth. If his penis wasn’t decided if to shrink or enjoy Michael’s hand massaging it, now it was hardening inside the wetness of Michael’s mouth. 

       Ian gripped the side of the bench as Michael’s tongue swirled around the head of his penis then pressed down on the slit. He wasn’t sure what to do with his hands so he kept gripping the wood underneath him. Michael looked up at him as he took Ian’s cock deep in his mouth and started bobbing his head up and down. Ian sucked in a breath as he felt the tip of his penis hitting the back of Michael’s throat. He groaned as Michael kept him there for a few very long seconds before sucking him off again.

       He couldn’t believe this was happening, it was so abrupt, their movements were in such smooth coordination and understanding it felt unreal. Michael must have wanted Ian just as much. Ian’s head was spinning, his breath came out hasty and he forgot to keep quiet as Michael took him all the way in again. 

       “I’m com… I’m… coming!” The sensations and the excitement drove Ian in overload, his skin was tingling—he didn’t know if because of Michael or the cold—his cheeks felt numb, his throat harsh and he came rope after rope in Michael’s mouth. Michael swallowed then licked Ian’s penis clean. 

       “You liked that?” Michael’s expression looked amused as he sat down on the bench. 

       “Very, very much.” Ian tucked himself back in and pulled Michael into his arms. “Why don’t we go to your place?”

       “We can’t, Cole should be home by now.” Ian felt suddenly sobered, his body turning at least a whole degree colder instantly. 

       “What?” He managed to ask strangled. “Cole?”

       “Well, yeah, my boyfriend, remember?”

       “I thought you broke up!”

       “Why would you think that?” Michael looked at him just as confused as betrayed Ian felt.

       Ian got up and walked a few steps towards the exit of the park. Indeed, why would he think that? Michael didn’t mention Cole until now, he didn’t hint that they broke up, he didn’t hint anything about them being a couple or not.

       Without another word Ian left ignoring Michael calling after him. He felt all sorts of things now, he felt like he was Michael’s accomplice. Maybe he didn’t think much of Cole, the guy was indifferent to him, but he didn’t want to come between him and Michael. If they would have broken up that was a whole different situation, but him, doing that with someone else’s boyfriend felt wrong. 

       One long shower after, Ian threw himself on the bed. He had two unread messages on his phone, but he didn’t want to know what they said. He didn’t feel like he could deal with that right now. Instead, he would get some rest then get up and make himself a cup of coffee and check his messages sometime around then.